First, there might be moments of loneliness when you travel by yourself….and that’s ok. 99% of the time I feel at my best when I’m solo traveling, but there’s always a moment when I experience a little loneliness. One of the reasons I travel solo is to remind myself that it’s ok to be uncomfortable. When I was in Paris, I felt incredible waltzing through the city on my own, until one night at an Italian restaurant. I was so excited to try this place, but it was a small cozy spot, and it was full of groups. I was most certainly the only solo diner, and so I was seated in the back by the restroom. I felt on display, but I talked myself through the discomfort and focused on enjoying the incredible food. And just when I thought I’d managed my way through the loneliness, I fell down the center flight of stairs exiting the restaurant. The hostess and waiters surrounded me but they only spoke French. I quickly smiled, said I was fine, and got the heck out of there. I walked a few blocks wiping my tears, then I called my sister and somehow managed to find the comical side of the situation. Once I acknowledged that it happened and that this one moment didn’t define my trip, I was able to let it go and move back into enjoying all the positive parts of being alone.
It’s ok to be anxious and still go on the trip by yourself. I’m not sure why I had so much anxiety leading up to my Paris trip, but I had a lot. Like a lot. It was my third solo trip, but this time I was afraid of all kinds of things. I was afraid of feeling lonely, of navigating the train system, and of not speaking the language. For me, admitting to someone (for me it’s my sisters) that I was having these feelings helped. I could simultaneously express that I was anxious and still go on the trip. I also did a ton of research leading up to my departure, because feeling a little more prepared than usual helps to quell some of those feelings. Once I landed and got to my hotel, that anxiety went away and I was wrapped up in enjoying the trip. Knowing it’s ok to be anxious and excited at the same time encourages you to take that step and try out solo travel.
Sights and experiences still feel just as exciting even when you don’t have someone to share them with. Many well-meaning people have said things to me with the overtone that I will get less joy out of travel experiences if I don’t have someone to turn to and say, “Oh my gosh look!” But I can tell you that the cloudland forest in Boquete, Panama still felt mystical without someone walking next to me. The sunset views from Cathedral Rock in Sedona, AZ still felt just as epic without someone to gaze with at the top. And the sparkle of the Eiffel Tower still felt just as stirring without someone standing next to me. I love traveling with friends and family, but I can honestly say that being alone didn’t damper any of my experiences. If anything, there were moments when I felt more immersed in my travels because I was experiencing them even more fully on my own.
Solo travel is a great opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself socially. I am way more likely to strike up conversations with new people when I am by myself than when I am with travel companions. I’d describe myself as an extroverted introvert. I love love love my alone time, but I am also refreshed and refueled by socializing on a smaller scale. I’ve found that I really like to schedule travel experiences that involve being with small groups at least every other day if not daily. Walking tours, food tours, wine tastings, and other small group experiences like a group fitness class give me an opportunity to talk to other travelers and hear about other’s experiences. I’ve found most people are intrigued by solo travel and it sparks conversation. I’ve met so many people from around the world like a Danish couple who inspired me to plan a trip to Sicily, a group of girlfriends from London who make the most of long weekends traveling to different spots in Europe, a mother and daughter who moved to Costa Rica and are adopting a slower pace of life, and a coffee shop owner in Panama who I met with daily to practice my Spanish. I know it sounds cheesy to say that it’s the people you meet who really make your travel experiences memorable, but it’s true. And being alone inspires me to get to know other people on my journeys which makes my travel memories even more meaningful.
You may want more of a schedule than usual. I’m one of those people who best maximizes travel time when I have a schedule anyway, but with solo travel, I tend to make even more of a plan for myself. This doesn’t mean I always stick to it, but it gives me a sense of comfort to know that I won’t have too much down time which could increase my anxiety. I typically try to have a general morning, afternoon, and evening itinerary, and after the first day, I pretty much know if I want to stick to the plan or if I’m comfortable with more flexibility. You can always change your mind, but having activities in place helps prevent the chance you’ll feel scattered and paralyzed with the feeling of not knowing what to do next.
The best thing about solo travel is that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want, and you can change your mind when you want. As I mentioned above, I like to have a plan, but it is so much easier to deviate from the plan when you’re alone. I like to get up really early, go to the same coffee spot every morning, and stroll for about an hour. But if I want to sleep in, cancel a tour, revisit a location, or make a spontaneous decision, I don’t have to check in with anybody else. When you travel on your own, you aren’t subject to anyone else’s moods. You don’t have to compromise or agree on anything with anyone which allows you to create a travel experience that is perfectly tailored to you. When I was in Paris, I spent maybe an hour total in the Louvre. When I was in Panama, I decided to avoid the beach entirely and spend my time in the mountains. I’m currently in the middle of planning a trip to Portugal and I’ve decided to skip Lisbon completely. For a lot of people, these decisions may seem absurd. But on my own, I can do literally whatever I please. This doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy being with loved ones while I travel, but at least once a year, I want to fully experience a new place completely on my own, and I fully accept and appreciate the hard stuff along with all of the joys.
